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Misfit

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Numbness

Rebirth

They were all around me

willing to fix me

they covered my cracks

with recited promises

they convinced me that

life is supposed to be hard

it must be your fault, they said

for your frantic look

is not listed in our book

Hushhhhhh, they whispered

bleed in silence

don’t dare to break the grid

don’t shake the eyes open

your pain is to be tamed, they decided

with another promise here

and a cushion there

they handed me the camouflage suit

passed down through generations

a tradition they were proud of

when you wear it, they assured me

all shall vanish

the nudges, the confusion, the swollen tumors and the buried pain

I trusted them

The suit wasn’t my size

my body shrunk to fit I couldn’t breath

I rehearsed their words

“life is supposed to be hard”

I looked at life through their vision

and numbed my eye

their sun looked different

pale and cold it needed a sun

there were no swaying trees

no lady bugs

no sacred liquid no luscious hives no orbs

I now know

where they come from

my voice betrayed me

or did I betray my voice

hands shaking, I took off the suit

in fear in rage I couldn’t tell

I ran

naked

wild and raw

towards the wilderness

where witches salute my aroma

where silence

is the opposite of absence

I shed tears

burning tears

but the many sunrises ahead

were pulling me I couldn’t resist the light

I am I am

I declared

to Existence

celebrating the return of my voice

I gave birth to a new star

M. R.

Source Energy

 

 

If we are source energy having a physical experience, which means that we are both physical and non-physical. Does this mean that we are bigger than source energy/Universe/God whatever you called it?

Does this mean that source energy felt bored or curious at some level in order to decide to have this experience?

Does this make us more joyful – in all our sad and happy moments – than Source Energy?

If Source Energy resides within, does it make it a part of us; the whole?

And many more questions….

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In The Receptive Mode

 

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Trust that what you truly want is coming your way. When you look at something and you say yes to it, you activate it within you, you are asking for it to come your way, events begin to come around you, you go your way differently this time.

We are all vibration, we can make anything happen with the power of  our vibrational energy. Nothing is happening to us, everything is happening for us, and through us.

I am fully worthy for all good things in life. And I am learning to more deliberately manifest what I desire.

What ever I offer vibrationally will manifest, I am the controller of my life experiences, and I do care about how I feel the most, I am source energy, which sets things into motion. I have been, I am and I will always be.

 

Over-ripeness


And those of us, who spend half of their lives seeking an answer. Who got the guts to mercilessly go after it and commit to find it. And the minute they lay their hands on it; they spend the other half of their lives looking for supportive answers, or even opposite ones, just in case they got the wrong one. They become over-ready they rotten in their own over-ripeness, and the seed of salvation dries once and for all. We asked the wrong question. 

Futile Bargain 

The distance between us is paved with pretending.

We step towards each other slowly, on the expense of losing parts of ourselves with every step.

Only to discover while arriving that we entirely turned into shadows in the full-of-denial-quest.

And that we couldn’t give what we no longer have.

Compromising is dangerous.

It’s Raining Parts of Me

And I mourned, let not the rotten watch my fall, for they’ll hang oranments on doors.

And I mourned, 

the eclipse of buried dreams..

the places I’ll never go..

the lips I’ll never kiss..

And I wept,

what never was..

the yearning for the never-ridden star, and never-started fire..

the longing for the unwritten poetry, and the unwhittled hunger..

Oh soul behold! 

Let the sorrow in, but not despair..

for water no more absorbs salt..

and seeds ache for ripeness elsewhere.

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