They were all around me
willing to fix me
they covered my cracks
with recited promises
they convinced me that
life is supposed to be hard
it must be your fault, they said
for your frantic look
is not listed in our book
Hushhhhhh, they whispered
bleed in silence
don’t dare to break the grid
don’t shake the eyes open
your pain is to be tamed, they decided
with another promise here
and a cushion there
they handed me the camouflage suit
passed down through generations
a tradition they were proud of
when you wear it, they assured me
all shall vanish
the nudges, the confusion, the swollen tumors and the buried pain
I trusted them
The suit wasn’t my size
my body shrunk to fit I couldn’t breath
I rehearsed their words
“life is supposed to be hard”
I looked at life through their vision
and numbed my eye
their sun looked different
pale and cold it needed a sun
there were no swaying trees
no lady bugs
no sacred liquid no luscious hives no orbs
I now know
where they come from
my voice betrayed me
or did I betray my voice
hands shaking, I took off the suit
in fear in rage I couldn’t tell
wild and raw
towards the wilderness
where witches salute my aroma
is the opposite of absence
I shed tears
but the many sunrises ahead
were pulling me I couldn’t resist the light
I am I am
celebrating the return of my voice
I gave birth to a new star
If we are source energy having a physical experience, which means that we are both physical and non-physical. Does this mean that we are bigger than source energy/Universe/God whatever you called it?
Does this mean that source energy felt bored or curious at some level in order to decide to have this experience?
Does this make us more joyful – in all our sad and happy moments – than Source Energy?
If Source Energy resides within, does it make it a part of us; the whole?
And many more questions….
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Trust that what you truly want is coming your way. When you look at something and you say yes to it, you activate it within you, you are asking for it to come your way, events begin to come around you, you go your way differently this time.
We are all vibration, we can make anything happen with the power of our vibrational energy. Nothing is happening to us, everything is happening for us, and through us.
I am fully worthy for all good things in life. And I am learning to more deliberately manifest what I desire.
What ever I offer vibrationally will manifest, I am the controller of my life experiences, and I do care about how I feel the most, I am source energy, which sets things into motion. I have been, I am and I will always be.
And those of us, who spend half of their lives seeking an answer. Who got the guts to mercilessly go after it and commit to find it. And the minute they lay their hands on it; they spend the other half of their lives looking for supportive answers, or even opposite ones, just in case they got the wrong one. They become over-ready they rotten in their own over-ripeness, and the seed of salvation dries once and for all. We asked the wrong question.
The distance between us is paved with pretending.
We step towards each other slowly, on the expense of losing parts of ourselves with every step.
Only to discover while arriving that we entirely turned into shadows in the full-of-denial-quest.
And that we couldn’t give what we no longer have.
Compromising is dangerous.
And I mourned, let not the rotten watch my fall, for they’ll hang oranments on doors.
And I mourned,
the eclipse of buried dreams..
the places I’ll never go..
the lips I’ll never kiss..
And I wept,
what never was..
the yearning for the never-ridden star, and never-started fire..
the longing for the unwritten poetry, and the unwhittled hunger..
Oh soul behold!
Let the sorrow in, but not despair..
for water no more absorbs salt..
and seeds ache for ripeness elsewhere.