Here I am, writing my first post, feeling shy and I just want to run away. But this urge to be connected to the whole world, and to share every single thought that crosses my mind- is holding me back from hiding foolishly. Mistakes may happen, and failure might occur, guess it’s like in every single aspect in our life, to fall and rise again, to try then try harder and succeed.
I do believe that everything happens for a reason. All the changes that happened in my life for the last few years have led me here, to this blog, at this very moment, though I still don’t have a clue about the reason yet, but it will show itself at the right moment..that’s one thing I’m sure of.
I haven’t chosen my blog’s name arbitrarily. It is something that has been living with me since forever. I didn’t even think about giving this feeling a name. Didn’t know it even may have one. A lot of our emotions come and go at specific moments, and If we don’t stop and take notice of them they stay in the shadow forever. I used to enjoy those moments of emotional state of being, but never thought about giving them a name, never stopped to realize that what I’m feeling is something so precious that could make me more emotional in fact. Until that day, when I was surfing the Net for a specific reason, and I came across a website called The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, which was created by this sensitive man who believes that there are plenty of human feelings that don’t have names in the dictionary, so he started to create names for these feelings, and “sonder” was one of them. He states: “Sonder, n, The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.” Now that is huge! How come that you live with such a “realization” your entire life, you enjoy it and cherish it with all your heart, but never got to think of it as a case of itself, to search for its name and its source, or to know the reason why you have it in the first place..
To pay attention to what envades your being out of a sudden is a discovery of itself. I’m willing to get to know who I really am, before I know about the outer, this latter will come eventually. The inner journey is a sacred and yet a wild experience of self exploration. The road may be jammed with boulders and question marks, but it will unfold before me as I dare to be.